God. What did I do to deserve this punishment?

What in the world did the long suffering sports fans of Cleveland do to deserve this kind of punishment? In my 41 1/2 years there have been exactly 0, yes zero championships in our beloved, yet beleaguered city. And for all you Homos that want to tell me that the Cleveland Crunch won the Indoor Soccer Campionship in the 80’s. I have one thing to say to you. It doesn’t count because it’s not a real sport and American Soccer is for Fags! Since I was a little boy in the early 1970’s I have gone into most seasons with a real sense of hope and optimism. That this year could possibly be the year that one of my teams finally brings home a world championship. It starts in spring with the Indians. Then they hopefully get me to the end of July for Browns training camp. Then their job is to get me to November when the Cavs start. Then the Cavs have to get me to March when spring training starts. So as you can see it’s a cyclical trend of hope followed by the inevitable disappointment. And it has happened every year for the last 41 years of my life.

See, my dad raised me and my brothers as Cleveland sports fans. We watched or listened to every Indians, Cavs, Browns and both Ohio State football and basketball games whenever they were on. It was what we talked about and what we looked forward to. These teams represented us in some dark times in the 70’s and were supposed to be a source of civic pride for us. Cleveland was the punchline to pretty much every joke at that time. And my dad took great offense to it. That’s part of the reason that we followed these teams so passionately. So we could have something that we could be proud of. My Dad would come back from sales trips and meet with people from all over the country and he would say ” These people think Cleveland is the Asshole of the Universe ! and they have never even been here to see what a great place it is to live and everything that it has to offer!” It’s a Sleeping Giant. I tell you, a Sleeping Giant!” This is what I have been believing since I was a child. That Cleveland is a sleeping Giant. Well when is this sleeping Giant going to wake the Fuck Up! My Dad was as a Fan back in the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and 60’s and saw some legendary teams with legendary players. Like Bob Feller, Lou Boudreau, Larry Doby for the Indians. Otto Graham, Lou Groza and Jim Brown for the Browns. So, he didn’t have the bitterness towards these teams that I do. He saw great teams and championships for years. I get to see Jerry Dybzinski , bow legged at 2cnd and batting 211. Mike Bratz hoisting up 25 ft Airballs for the Cavs and Some Greedy Asshole move my football team to Baltimore. And if I forgot to mention these other deep emotional scars that torment me every day of my life in order: Red right 88, The Drive , The Fumble, The Shot, The Shot 2 and 3, The move, 11th inning of 97 world series, Up 20 at halftime on Steelers in playoff game and lose in 02, Fucking Cocksucking Lying Bastard Carlos Boozer skipping town and last years loss to the Red Sox after the Tribe was up 3-1. And after all that I am still standing and waiting for the Sleeping Giant to rise.

Right now we have a sleeping giant in Cleveland named Romeo Crennel. I just don’t think that he is ever going to wake up. The guys in way over his head. It’s a fucking embarasment. He can’t beat our arch rival Pittsburgh. His teams are undisiplined, ill prepared and can’t tackle. We get our asses humiliated by the team who left here (and who won a super bowl 5 years after they left) today. And we are 0 and 3. It’s September and my football season is close to being over already. Two weeks ago I was thinking 10-6 or 9-7 and a playoff berth. Tonight I’m counting the days until the Cavs start. How fucked up is that?